I was speaking to this friend of mine today and she is the 25th person i know who is expecting a baby or has already had one this year. Isn't anyone actually worried about the credit crunch? Or are people out of jobs and at home and taking up making babies as the latest past time. Yeah i know I'm being insensitive here, sorry. Congrats to all the mommies/mommies-to-be.
Phew! I'm shitting bricks thinking about how we would raise a child if we were in drastic situations like that. I read an article the other day that says it costs around GBP 30,000 a year to raise a child here. With the lavish lifestyle we now follow, I don't think we would have that much money in our account EVER! I'm sorry but i seriously cant struggle to raise a kid. When i went home a couple of months back, I was bombarded with questions as to where, why when i would be having a baby and i was so damn pissed off. The funniest part is, my parents are pretty cool. Its the rest of the world that is so worried about me. Its easy for them to say. I, first of all, want to be 100 percent ready to be a mom (I'm just coming to terms with being married, so i guess I'm a long way off). And i am not, at the moment, willing to let go of the lifestyle we now follow. I want to travel (expensive after we have kids), make sure we have a decent bank balance and need it to be a planned affair as much as possible. If you think i am over doing it, you don't want to know what all Ro has to have in place in order to have a baby(He's even picked up a D.O.B). Ro, however, says he's ready to start a family. I ask him why we should have kids and he has no answer. So i said to go figure and let me know.
Both of us are not very child friendly. I have very biased opinions about children. I do not cuddle and kiss every child i see. I roll my eyes at them and curse it out when we are stuck in a restaurant or movie theatre or train with a wailing child. Moreover i think children these days act way too smart and have lost all their innocence. They talk like elders. I like a total of 2 children/babies right now..my adorable cousin (who cannot be referred to as a baby anymore but i still consider her a baby and will do so forever) and my best friends son who is the most well-behaved baby ever. Of course, there are the numerous cute, blonde hair, blue eyed babies that stare at me in buses and trains and at supermarket queues. They are adorable and i don't mind coochi cooing for a maximum of a minute maybe. When we were travelling back from India this time, at the baggage claim area, a lady with a baby made casual conversation with me saying how tired she was and her bags seem to be lost somewhere. She suddenly spotted the buggy and handed the baby to me. I was lost...trust me LOST. But she was so adorable with the pink bunny body suit and a pacifier (notice how i described the attire and accessories rather than the baby herself) and just stared up at me making all these funny noises. When its somebody else's baby its ok. A small whimper and you thrust her/him back to the mom.
Ro got back with our bags and goes, 'euuuuuuuuuuu...you have "something" in your hand.'
Me: Isn't she cute
Ro: If u insist. Stay away. 'IT' smells (then for the next one hour it was baby jokes..not the funny ones, the really mean ones!). Oh ya he definitely is ready to have a baby and with that attitude, (it smells) that's some help i can expect.!
So that's how our conversations are about babies and children. He recently told a friend to come visit us in London but 'NOT' to bring their baby along as it can ruin plans. He first of all called us to pass on the good news that he just had a baby. Seriously? how heartless is he (although i completely agree with him).
They have children on leashes here and its actually quite sad to see them being dragged around like dogs in supermarkets and malls. Ro thinks its one of the best things ever and is definitely picking up one for our kids. Poor kids of mine. I am sure i will have to shed quite a few tears during those times.
Anyways coming back to my friends, most of them who told me about the expecting part sounded so lost. I asked one of them, 'so aren't you supposed to be like totally excited and all.'
She replied saying, ' well yeah, not really...I'm still in shock and i don't know what to do.' Another friend didn't speak to anyone for one whole week and then cried for another week. Now that's what i don't want to feel like. I want to be so damn excited and happy and think of it as the best thing that ever happened to me....not just by chance. So if i need to feel this way, i need to be 100 percent ready for it. My biological clock is ticking, family is harassing me about it, but i shall not succumb to these pressures and have a baby for the sake of it. I want it to be a cherished moment and i am working on getting there. For all you may know, i might aready be there:)
P.S. All the mommies and mommies to be...don't listen to me..i am on one of my blabbering sessions. You guys have a god given gift, so enjoy it to the max. And if ever you need me to baby sit. I would gladly agree with all my heart (once or max twice). I'm not that mean :)
P.P.S. My orange tree was almost dying and was completely bare. Today i saw a new bud and i have some hope. Phew! Blindwreck however shouted at me the other day for even comparing it to a child :)
This is usual out here even without having children around.
Comic strips are from Baby Blues. Ro's got the entire series and its hilarious.
Don't worry, my friend, you are on the right track. Don't have a baby just because there is nothing else to do. Also, for all these people who talk when you go back home for ur vacations: trrrrrpppppppppppp!( trying to word the sound that we make when we stick our tongue out). All they need is a conversation point. Next time carry a licensed gun and see if they talk! I have had it with those kinda people.
ReplyDeleteI love Baby Blues - bought a book last year from Landmark when it was on sale. As for being 100% ready - never gonna happen hon. You will never really know. There will always be an excuse. It's the actual presence of a child that makes it all worthwhile...even sacrificing the lifestyle. Take this from one who keeps saying she is SO ready but starts bawling if she misses her period. Fears n worries are part of being pregnant :O)
ReplyDeleteButerfly- i'm soooo gonna do that next time:)
ReplyDeleteJane- aww i was just waiting for you to comment. You have already told me this a hundred times. LOuve u:)
hahahha, i loved this post di.... i guess i will enver ever b ready for a kid, i only gave in to the pressure from hubby darling and his family.. heheh and i guess my mom thought maybe its a lill too early...
ReplyDeletelol humm i guess we will all never b ready, but once it happnes we might manage... :)
Edi we r so similar in the child aspect thing..hahah, I am certainly not child friendly and dont kiss, hug, cuddle kids and i just get so angry and curse them wen they start bawling during movies and all that... the last day, wen i was waliking through the supermarket, a kid which passed up happily hit me and wet..ya kind of like a sharp hit on my hand (nalla oru adi) and it pained like hell.. I just stood there and was swearing and calling her a bitch and wat not ...arghhh i hate such kidssss...
"I do not cuddle and kiss every child i see. I roll my eyes at them and curse it out when we are stuck in a restaurant or movie theatre or train with a wailing child. Moreover i think children these days act way too smart and have lost all their innocence. They talk like elders." my exact thoughts...heheh
wen i missed my periods and had a doubt, i was secretly hoping that i would get my periods...humm i juts want the baby to be healthy and safe coz i know how much Deepz is carvin for the lilll one and how much his parents want it....humm one thing i'm happy about is they hav told us to leave the kid with them and that they will look after it...heheh
LOL..u called a lil kid a bitch..lol lol cant stop laughing...we are seriously mean people!
ReplyDeleteyeah but u are right, once it happens i guess we will get used 2 it...and lucky u that deepak has agreed 2 leave the kid with his folks..roshan has such strong values reg this and thts what's making me scared a 100 times more..i totally blame him for the thought on having a baby...