No heading ...its a state of mind for me

This is how i wanted it to be:

Pass out of college and get a kick ass job

Move into an apartment on my own and live life to the fullest

Take salsa classes

Make enough money to do my higher studies in a good University abroad, preferably the US..i say abroad because the course i want to specialise in is available only in Universities abroad..and US because half of my family is there and i have a soft corner for US;)

Pass out with flying colours and get a job

Think about marriage

Build my way up the career ladder

Visit loads of places

Take up a hobby and be serious about it. Pottery, painting, baking, candle making and so on.

Meet a Mr. perfect (and by that i mean someone in my wavelength..there is no Mr perfect in reality)somewhere along the way and get hitched for life

Have the most amazing, romantic wedding ever and be so smitten and in love for ever and ever and ever

Honeymoon for about 5 years and then decided to go the family way

Have kids and still enjoy life to the fullest and not fall out of love in the process

Not stop 'having a life' because you are all settled down

Chuck the kids out of the house by 18 and go ask them to live life the hard way, make money on their own if they want to have an extravagant wedding (if they want to get married at all that is. Living together..good enough for me)

By now i would have reached somewhere up the career ladder, prob own a business or something and so id be tackling other areas of interest or expanding my business

Take a holiday without having to worry about loans and ailments

Die before my husband does :)

This is how it ultimately IS

Passed out of college and did land a job

Moved into an apartment on my own and was just beginning to enjoy life to the fullest.

6 months down, i got engaged and quit my job (no not to Mr. Perfect but to Mr. systematic and I'm-serious-in-life-i-cant-do-things-for-fun)

Had a pretty decent wedding, but not the one of my dreams. Smitten yes, for a good 2 years, after that it was just plain annoying to have a nagging husband..yes in our case.

Honeymooned for exactly one week and after that it was eclipsed. Fought on all valentines days, birthdays etc. after that, religiously :)

Pottered around a newly set up house, threw parties, had a tough time adjusting to the new person in my life and married life in general

Missed being single, a lot

Went off to the US. Was beginning to like it there when we had to return back to India

Frustration set in and i got a job, again

Enjoyed myself to the max, loved the job, loved being independent, loved the appreciation, loved the money, loved the pressure, loved life in general

One year down, quit the job, relocated to UK. Within UK, relocated quite a bit. And yeah uncertainty rocks!!!!! You should try it sometime

Frustrated, friendless, fat

Struggling to freelance from home. Was doing OK, till a bunch of unprofessional f****** in the publishing business decided to keep my pay stalling and i decided to quit. Thanks a lot F----e (you know which mag right?)

Non stop harassment from people-i-don't-care-about, about stuff i don't care about at the moment

Did i mention FAT?

...this is the story so far

Yeah yeah, sob, sob, i know everyone has their share of miseries. I'm in one of those miserable moods and the rainy, gloomy weather inst helping much. I complete 4 years of wedded bliss (quite a strong word to use, if i may say so) in 3 days. What a pathetic time for me to remember nasty things. Well, if only the world was a happier place to be in and life worked out just the way you planned it.

As if that wasn't enough, I am entering the big three zero soon and i haven't achieved any of those things i wanted to. Reality set in last night and i recalled all those things i wanted to do and which i would have done if my head had made the decision and not my heart. I cried myself to sleep and actually woke Ro with my uncontrollable sobs. He thought i had a bad dream or something and in between snores consoled me saying, its all OK...well, little does he know!

PS: Even though i have an emotionless, unromantic goof of a guy as husband, he is the only one who can actually stand me (although I'm sure he's wished a million times he'd married someone else). Understand me, not quite well, but bear with what I'm going through, yes to an extent. I love you and I'm sorry for being a bitch right now. I love the fact that you are so organized and planned and know what to do when you are 80 (if you are alive that is hahaha) even though i will tease you to death about it. I love it that you are neat and tidy and shout at me if i don't fold clothes properly, roll the toilet paper right and leave the toilet seat down:). Even better, i love it that you willingly do all this and more and are never lazy or tired to do anything (except of course shop which im ok with). I don't think i could have lived with a guy who wasn't you. Happy 4th Anniversary. Lets get drunk and celebrate 4 years of achieving nothing.

Yaay im back!

All Christmassy @ the Canary Wharf

Hellow and happy New Year to all of you. Yes, i am back in London and thoroughly enjoying every bit of it. I just couldn't’t wait to get back to London and feel all Christmassy and in the thick of things. Weird right? The reason i went down was for a reunion we had planned...with the 2 most amazing friends in my life. R, i grew up with and we are neighbours ( my mom and her mom were friends and neighbours and expected us almost at the same time and we were born a week apart) and then S, we met up in College and have been inseparable ever since. We vowed to meet up once a year and we did manage to keep it all up when we were in India. Now that we are married and settled in various parts of the world, its become less frequent but still we try and get together whenever possible. Since R was going down for her annual vacation and S was in Mumbai, I just had to be all emotional for a week and ta da Ro buys me a ticket to go home for not 2 but 6 bloody weeks (i thought that was a tad too long a time at home..but whatever!). So we met up in Mumbai and oh my god we had a great time. Shopped like mad, talked about stuff in our lives, gossiped about ex boyfriends and bitched about husbands (wink!). R and i got back home and she had to leave in 10 days time after which it was torture for me. I was bored! As simple as that. To top it all, i had weather issues (this coming from someone who spent the greater part of her life in humid Kerala and the rest in hot Chennai). The clothes that I brought down made me itchy..the neck, the hands and even legs. I had no cotton clothes and so had to go splurge on that (not that i was complaining) and now have left them all behind because its is useless here in UK, even in summer! I couldn't eat spicy food. How can you be in Kerala and not succumb to spicy food. I however went ahead and ate it, which in turn gave me tummy trouble. Milk..i culdn't have the normal milma milk..can you beat that? Tried the tetra pack..even worse. I was forbidden the amazing filter coffee at Saravana Bhavan in Chennai. But i went ahead and did so anyway. Result...had a date with my aunts loo continuously for half an hr. Ro had the same issues the last time we were in India and i marked him as a stuck up Brit. Now i completely understand and wont make fun of him again. So basically, i hated this trip cos it screwed up with all the things i looked forward to. I have never missed London so much. I remember R almost in tears in having to return to work and me also almost in tears having to spend the rest 4 weeks with nothing to do.

Linking Road, Mumbai. One of the 4 pairs :)

Came back home and it was the 22nd of dec..London was so Christmassy and so full of life. I dashed to the supermarket fighting my jet lag and it was just awesome to be in the midst of all that Christmas shopping (even if it is just grocery). We decided to go to St Pauls Cathedral for their Choral service, but the crowds were massive and we had stand in line for about half an hour only to realise the seats were filled and so couldn't get in. We however went to St James Cathedral on Piccadilly Circus and attended the Christmas Carol service there. It was average...i wouldn't vouch for it. Christmas was however a small affair at a cousins place with turkey and the add ons.

Turkey Lunch for Christmas

26th Dec was the Boxing day sale and i basically went berserk at the Westfield mall. It was madness and so i ended up walking in and out of shops making a mental note of things to buy later (meaning when Ro is not with me)...ah and also making a note to get my own credit card and not an add-on card. I finally got myself something from a shop that had no sale and like losers we walked out. The next 3 days were spent at different shopping locales and if you have the patience i must say this is the time to shop..I have the patience but not with a man tagging along pretending i don't exist when i walk into a lingerie shop. Ultimately it was Ro who picked up stuff for himself and i have proclaimed myself as a very fussy shopper. I walked all over London, surfed various shops online and still haven't found that perfect trench coat. What i bought...a Chanel lip gloss which is out of this world. Now i know why people die for designer brands. Once you are addicted, you cannot think about anything less that that..trust me..its awesome. I was the type who used to love road side shopping, not that i don't like it anymore (picked up 4 pairs of sandals from Linking Road in Mumbai for 600 bucks..that's under 10 pounds and i couldn't help smiling at my achievement). The fact that i can only wear them in a warm country didn't cross my mind then..so yes, they are all still in Kerala. (I am thanking God that Ro doesn't read my blog). Anyways, i have realised that it is better to spend money on something that will last longer. Seriously! no more spending money on cheap shit is my New Year resolution, unless of course they are incredibly cheap ;) and id be stupid not to buy them.

Talking about New Year..we decided to head to the infamous London Eye for the New Year's Eve fireworks display. Also decided to grab dinner somewhere outside and then head to one of the viewing areas. Since the plan was last minute, getting a reservation at the restaurants were a task. It was all sold out or the earliest we could be squeezed in was around 10ish. We however decided to hit Central London and by luck managed to get a table at Browns after ordering Martini's at their bar. I was a bit adventurous and decided to try the Guinea Fowl with a coq au vin style sauce and rice which was out of this world, and Ro went ahead with the 28 Day Aged Rib Eye Steak which was average. There was no space for dessert and so skipped it. We made our way through to the Thames river side and it was already packed with people..this was at 9pm. Got a pretty neat location on the Waterloo bridge and so began our wait. By about 9.30 i was freezing. I couldn't feel my toes, in spite of wearing knee high boots and 3 layers of clothing, gloves and the works. By 10 DJ Nihal from BBC started his work..which was getting to me by 10.15 and i started acting all cranky. I began convincing Ro to head back home and decided it was so not worth standing in the cold to watch 10 minutes of fireworks display. He however kept prolonging and finally when the countdown began on the big building next to the eye, i was in full spirit. The fireworks were nice, i wouldn't say out of this world, but the whole feel of the place was nice. The Big Ben chimed at 12 and the fireworks were in full swing, immediately after which everyone sang Auld Lang Syne and what do you know, it started to snow..flurries rather..but it was magical. We had carried a bottle of Champagne to pop open at 12. We couldn't even take our hands out from the pocket, leave alone the Champagne. We popped it open at home at around 2am. So New Years was kinda nice...like DJ Nihal said..it was the worlds biggest street party with 250, 000 people.

St Pauls Cathedral. Its way too huge to get it in one frame

Ro got himself a very expensive Canon EOS 500D camera as New Years Gift (as he calls it) and so on the 3rd we went to St Pauls for the Sunday service (which was so dramatic and i shall blog about it later) and then went around town clicking pics followed by brunch at Tootsies on Bond Street. After 2 weeks of holidaying, Ro went back to work on 4th but stayed back and worked from home yesterday and today because of severe weather warning..and yes its snowing like crazy now.

Snow on our balcony

Backyard

Each time i see snow its the same excited mode i go into.

...and ofcourse you have to taste it

I loved the holiday season and its just getting better with our wedding anniv and both our birthdays round the corner. Haven't started updating my food blog, but shall soon do so. I'm still catching up on all your blogs, so pardon me if i don't leave comments as yet.

A friend met with an accident and he's in hospital after a major surgery. Please do keep him in your prayers and deeps..i hope you have a speedy recovery. Enigma, a hearty welcome to the new born. I'm sure you are thrilled. Get back on your feet, and i cant wait to hear all the gory details :). All you others, i hope you have an amazing year ahead with loads and loads of happiness.