I'm having mixed feelings about a lot of things now. Its just the other day that i was giving all the gyan i can about living life to the fullest and adjusting with wherever we are. I am totally contradicting it now..I WANT TO GO BACK HOME. I hate it here. I actually don't know whether this going back thing is associated with the fact that my cousin is down from the US, all my friends are getting together for a wedding, my moms making plans to do a lot of travelling with my cousin and then the most obvious one..I'm lonely and I'm missing everyone like crazy. I have this urge to be pampered by my grandma, have some undivided attention from my parents and endlessly chatter with my bestest friends over a cup of coffee. Me and Ro recently had a discussion about how different our interests were, and we decided we shouldn't force each other to do it, rather go ahead and do whatever it is you want. The argument started off with Ro wanting to go rollerblading in Hyde Park and insisting i join him. I don't know how to do so and didn't want to waste 20 quid to rent a blade, fall down and hurt myself on a day when the weather is pathetic (not that its ok to fall any other day). Ro has a lot of his school friends around and he is on a different trip altogether. Don't get me wrong here, they are really fun to be with and i don't mind meeting up with them and their families once in a while. But me being the anti-social element is not fond of meeting up every other weekend and we rarely share the same interests (children, buggies, schools, nap time, feeding time etc.). And i take ages to get comfortable around people.
I was talking about my mood swings right, well its a Friday and Ro called me around evening to say we were all to meet up at a friends place. The nasty, PMSing (this is post btw) me bawls over the phone for no apparent reason making Ro very uncomfortable. He then thinks twice about going. But i was smart enough to snap out of it soon and convinced him to carry on. I have absolutely no idea why on earth i said i was not joining them. I lied i was lazy, but that's not it. I am not able to figure out what is going through my mind. I didn't see him for 2 hrs and so i called and called and called and again started crying over the phone (you must be thinking I seriously have issues right?) saying he promised he'd be back for a Pizza dinner (he vaguely mentioned). This is just a simple example of the utter nonsense i put Ro through! He does deserve a prize for bearing with me.
Ro has been a smart ass and has now made his own plans for the weekend. He's going on a 16km walk on the London Loop with his pals tomorrow, and on Sunday roller blading in HP. Who is the loser here? ME!!!! I want to learn salsa dancing and have been asking Ro to join me because most of the places require you bring a partner. He is not interested and i have put it off because i don't have anyone to go with. So now since we are on this trip of doing our own thing, i think i should put on my dancing shoes and enroll for a class. What say? My heads asking me to do my own thing, but my heart wants to do everything with Ro and make an effort to like what he likes (but rollerblading is still a strict NO!). I never used to be like this..i couldn't care less. I guess marriage (and the fact that i don't have a life out here) has made me weak hearted. It makes me pick on small small things like these.
I usually look forward to a weekend, but this one has already spoilt my mood (spoilt would be an understatement). I don't know what to do. So here i am sipping on a breezer and watching the world pass by (actually watching whats going on in the apartments opposite ours).
All you others have a nice weekend. Sulk! Sulk!